nanggagaling kay luna

CUP OF COFFEE

2005-10-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

LYRICS BY GARBAGE

You tell me you don't love me
Over a cup of coffee
And I just have to look away
A million miles between us
Planets crashing to dust
I just let it fade away

I'm walking empty streets
Hoping we might meet
I see your car parked on the road
The light on at your window
I know for sure that you're home
But I just have to pass on by

So no, of course, we can't be friends
Not while I'm still this obsessed
I guess I always knew the score
This is how our story ends

I smoke your brand of cigarettes
And pray that you might give me a call
I lie around in bed all day just staring at the walls
Hanging round bars at night wishing
I had never been born
And give myself to anyone who wants to take me home

So no, of course, we can't be friends
Not while I still feel like this
I guess I always knew the score
This is where our story ends

You left behind some clothes
My belly summersaults
When I pick them off the floor
My friends all say they're worried I'm looking far too skinny
I've stopped returning all their calls
And no, of course, we can't be friends
Not while I'm still so obsessed
I want to ask where I went wrong
But don't say anything at all

It took a cup of coffee
To prove that you don't love me

do you know how to??

2005-10-10T10:39:00.000-07:00

keep your eyes closed
think of nothing else
feel hands….grip tighter together
feel a tingle of passion
listen to the wind calling upon you
silence.....chill....warmth
fear....excitement....
keep your eyes closed.
imagine a sky
mother moon....illuminated stars
painted over a black lace
smell the sweet scent of pure skin
passion....reaction
love....lust...lies....lost
honesty
pure unpredictability.
when you are ready
even if you are not ready
no clue...but no questions
just a young heart....spirit...soul
now….
one.....two....three
JUMP!

Ode to sunsets

2005-09-23T12:21:00.000-07:00

Sunset- Pronunciation Key (s n s t )n. The event or time of the daily disappearance of the sun below the western horizon.

For me a sunset means a lot of things; it maybe the end of a beautiful day… a creative way for the whole universe to give an encore after a great day of performance….or the time when me and my friends just lounge and bask in the semi-warm sands and slightly cool breeze of a beach somewhere. Sunsets have always been a part of my life, I don’t really have any idea why, but I’ve seen them in all the places I’ve went to. The idea of watching this great ball of fire in the sky hide away beyond the horizon is like realizing that even the gods take time to rest, to give a chance for other celestial beings to rule the world.

I love the feeling just sitting on the beach at around 5 pm, when the sun starts to swallow back its rays, and you just feel a hint of warmth invading your skin. Everything looks like caramel and gold. A vision so unbelievable and breathe taking. Complete with a little bit of alcohol in hand (I prefer a bottle of ice cold beer) stranded in front of a supposedly blue ocean (by then, with a hint of gold streaks) everything transformed…evolves into a chill out scene. Suddenly things start to slow down, time stops. The sky changes from blue to all the other colors you can imagine, and in the center of it all is the sun. A baby being tucked away in a great big blanket of colors.

The sunsets I’ve seen have all had their own character. Yes, it maybe just one sun, as you may say, but whenever I went on an adventure to some other new place, I found a new sunset to acquaint myself with. The first memorable sunset I’ve seen was back in my home town, Bacolod. It was no where near the beach. It was one 5 pm on top of a building along Lacson Street. My dad worked there and my best friend and I went on the roof top for the first time, to get away from the rest of the world. We were trying to hide out from everybody else, hoping we could find refuge in the serenity of a cement paved roof top, at 5:00 in the afternoon. Then we came to realize we were about to witness a beautiful event. The sky was clear, with little splashes of cotton candy clouds on the side. The sun was strong and warm but it did not hurt the skin. It was a sunset suited for an afternoon like it was, and a city like Bacolod. The sky was quiet and conservative; it was classic. Strong fire circle edged with soft yellow rays…a hint of orange and finished with pink and blue on the horizon, and a shade of deep yellow. All in all, it was a sunset ready to tell stories about our small province and its people.

Another unforgettable sunset I’ve seen is the ever popular sunset of Boracay island. Everyone who has been to Bora knows how charming the bora sunset is. Known as one of the most photographed sunsets in the nation, the Bora sunset is as picturesque as any sunset could be. Like a model making love to the camera, every angle is flawless. She exudes the character of a typical Filipina, shy, charming and exotic. Starts off as a bright yellow circle, and then gradually shows its passionate side as the night starts to swallow its color. You start to see all shades of deep yellow with a hint of black to finish up the masterpiece around the horizon. The rays of gold and caramel carpet the island. Everything seems to glide to the Caribbean melody of the Bora sunset. It’s not uncommon to be mesmerized by its charm as it slowly fades and the photo shoot is at its end.

The La Union sunset on the other hand is the total opposite of the Bora sunset. Like the waves of the majestic China Sea, the La Union sunset is as confident and regal. It conquers the sky like a god. The colors are radiant and clear, shades of orange, red and golden yellow mix in the skies. Imagine the scene; you hear the surf bang on the shores and rocks, while seeing surfers enjoy their last ride for the day, and in the back drop you have this golden ornament in the heavens. It’s not actually just an ornament; it seems to be what sums everything up; the main idea of the sentence; the point of the whole existence of the place; it is what makes La union what it is. Contrary to the passionate and sexual sunset of bora, the La union sunset is like a Filipino. He stands strong for what he believes in and he does not back down. He has heart and zeal; the La union sunset is something worth waiting for at the end of the day.

Last but not least, one of the most fascinating and most remarkable sunsets I’ve seen in this lifetime is the White beach, Puerto Galera sunset. In this quaint and serene stretch of semi white sanded beach, I found a bit of my so-called paradise. In the weekdays where people and tourists are a scarcity and the only friends you’d find in the beach are the locals; White beach is at its best. As the day starts to lazily work its way to rest, the horizon projects the best of its colors ever. The sun sets with incredible precision with the feel of the whole scene itself. Literally the sun hugs the island for a few minutes then starts to fade stretching colors of pink, purple and blue across the skies. Contrary to the usual yellow color of other sunsets, the only yellow part you’d see is the circle of the sun itself. Its mellow intensity is so calming that it’s just the right ending to a day of sun tan oil, fruit shakes and clear sea water.

My friends tell me that the sunsets vary, most likely, because of the place itself. But for me (well in my insanely colorful world of theories) I believe that the sunsets I see are unique individuals themselves. It’s like one schizophrenic person; someone who has more than one personality. In each and every form that the sunset slips into, she or he has a different world all together, that also, well most probably, reflects the place itself.

I can’t conclude this article by telling you which sunset is the best, or the most beautiful of all. I know it is cliché to say so, but, honestly speaking, all of the sunsets I’ve seen are magnificently unique with their very own beauty. I wouldn’t miss either of them in this life time. I was lucky to have found them. Well I have more 5 pm’s to come, and I have more sunsets to witness…..

red

2005-08-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

It was a lonely red boat...in the middle of a semi-white beach....the sands gaze at its edges...and the sun was defining its color...
It was a small lonely red boat...single to its own mindset...unbelievably unique...
Other boats were white with blue or red stripes...others, just plain white....white with names marked on the sides...names like Nicole, Mercy or King Jamil.... I wonder why I never see it sail...3 days since the day we arrived on the shores of this island...it was always just there lying on the sands...just alone and immovable...it was neither cute nor adorable...everybody seemed to ignore it, other than me....it had character....a story....bound to be discovered...i just never had the time to ask about it.

kwento

2005-08-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

kalimitan na tinanong ni maria si juan.....kung ang kanyang iniisip ay katulad sa kanya....sagot ng binata ay hindi....kasi iiba ang mundo nila....nasa malayong lupalop si juan.....nang siya'y abutan ni maria.....nasa lugar ng mainit at mabasang-basa na mga higaan.....hawak niya kanyang ari...at ang kanyang himpapawid ay imahinasyon.....di na nagulat si Maria....di na nagtanong.....alam na ata....kung bakit nagkakaganito ang binata....si Maria'y tumalikod...hawak ay rosas na dumurugo....may puwang sa puso....pero nasa daan patungo ng kalayaan.

FREEDOM

2005-06-28T12:48:00.000-07:00

i wrote this poem when i was still in college....i found it when i was reading through some old stuff that i had....just a reminder for my spirit...and for everyone as well...........this is an edited version...bare with me....i was young....

i will fly now
like an eagle, i will soar
no more will chains bring me down...
i will walk away and be me
be awake and be free
i will be who i want to be
and be what i will be.

no more destruction
or distractions.....
i will jump and run at my own will
stop where it is needed
when it's time
on my own time.

I will ride the wind
like i did before
step on fire....get burned
and be alive again
shout and scream
cry then breathe
no fear....no fear for life as it is.

I will fear only the almighty
and love when i need to love
love all the way
i will be and will be....

i just want my freedom back
the wind through my hair
the burst of blood through my veins
the breathing of my soul
the amplified essence of my being.

i was free you know
once
and i will be again
i hope?
no....no....i am free.......

the hunt

2005-06-27T13:47:00.000-07:00

can anyone please find me?....help me look for something that i have lost....i'm not quite sure really what i've lost...was it me or something in particular....its something that meant everything in my world....that psychedelic andromeda, that is my world. I lost it when?....well i don't really want to remember when....i might have lost even the memory of its lost. Does that make sense at all? To forget the day that you've lost something?....or i just don't want to reminisce.
It gave me music....the truth....the truth of music. I want to hear music again...really hear it...feel it...find it. It gave me color....and paint on my hand. I don't know how it did but it did.It showed me my reality...the very essence of being who i am....the insanity of the whole concept that is me. Do i make sense at all?....am i really looking for something or this is just all bullshit?

my whispers

2005-04-13T02:34:00.000-07:00

a psychedelic andromeda of flowers
the rain the earth the sun
with the moon in the highest state of being
i see the planets coming towards me.

i lie down while I’m naked
i watch one by one
touch each and every star
painted all over the floating mirage
black but painted with pink and white and purple.

watch me fly like a sweet sweet melody
my brown sugar skin touched
by a white silvery cloth
floating through the skies.

Feel the heat of my being
As caramel slides on my waist
The gods observe my sensuality
And I entertain, by being myself.

i lay on the deep green cloud
with my feet dipped on a grayish blue sea
my innovation is this world
a miraculous conception from my womb.

pagan.....but inlove

2005-03-09T22:19:00.000-08:00

send the small boat through the dark mist
send it to a storm and through the ragged edge
of this flat piece of world
then it will fall.

In the middle of the risk
hear the droplets of screams
transformed to sound and melody
in the darkest pit of poetry.

more chocolate coated children die
in the limbo of war
a heart gets pounded through the depths
the worldly greed of being
and the will to be in the heavens.

better than being in hell
this world becomes a photocopy
and yet we find lilies and violets
and a little bright eyed child
holding a white shiny ball
amidst the darkness.

Do you believe in the sun?
or the moon and the stars....
do you create? life?
will you be?....a moment.
a song starts to crash through a mind
waves envelope shores and shores
of souls.

believe in......heart.

a battle, lost in a different sky

2005-01-12T20:28:00.000-08:00

as leaves fall from an autumn stricken tree
a new beginning is seen on the horizon
but the sadness in the eyes of the little girl
who played around the tree
is as heavy as each leaf floating down to kiss the ground

you can hear nothing but the cold breeze
calling the sun to come out and be one with sky
tired and sleepy the little girl falls asleep
on the cold gray cement
the faceless world starts to transform
and becomes another universe in her mind.

partially blind, partially in pain
the bitter-sweet caress of the black rain
she wakes up ridding on a plastic pony
the hand mold horse points the way to heaven
but she still walks on the path of purgatory.

a coin falls, and you can see its echo
vibrate across the horizon
and you see her pupils dilate
alive, she walks on....leaving her scarf
not looking back
the tree stands still
no goodbye....not a kiss
not a smile....
the tree stands still.

x

2005-01-11T21:08:00.000-08:00

like blade sliding through an open wound
the bitter charlotte finds a way to cry
as she lay dead and cold in the middle of the universe
her eyes are wide open and screaming
while her mouth is sewn shut
by an old stingy thread.

the miracle of being
in the darkest and coldest paths
is a miracle to itself
Unidentifiable, and anonymous
to the world of the forsaken people.

would you like to smell the cunt?
of a shivering long lost flower
an offense to every law in the land
its petals will slowly break through every rule.

Uncommon in a world of reality
amazing in a world of fantasy
dark in the world of the morbid
but in every other dimension
she is still....with tears dripping
through her diamond stricken eyes
and as each salty configuration drops
the world is shaken.

2005-01-11T06:53:00.000-08:00

it's all worth it.....

2005-01-11T06:43:00.000-08:00

surfs' up!

the adventure

2004-12-09T21:36:00.000-08:00

In a week that was filled with misery and sickness, and over expensive anti-biotics.... you would really think that i gave up the idea of going out of town over the weekend; that i may have just stayed home and slept through the weekend.... you would think i just laid in bed, checked out the stars peeping above the window, waiting for the whole miserable day to end...you would really think that in my wretched state (cough, sore throat, pharyngitis and all) I would have looked weak and restless, smelling like vicks and expired saliva combined. HOOOOOOOOOO WELL.....you thought wrong. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

As i am Nicole.... the ever "kaladkarin" person that i am... i actually went through the ever anticipated trip back to San Juan, La Union. To tell you the truth, i myself had second thoughts in going....i was really sick....but my voice was getting back to shape...and the only problem that i had left was a bad cough. Luckily, the over priced meds worked.... 2000 bucks later, Friday morning i felt...... ooooh, much, much, better. I was not in great shape, but much better than i was the day before. 9 p.m.-all my bags were packed; bikini, board shorts, sun tan oil and all... i was ready to jump on the bus on my way to paradise once more.

We (my bestfriend and her friends, and my better half) left our place at around 10:30 in the evening. When we arrived at the bus terminal, we were not expecting to see a jam packed place. The line from the ticket booth for La Union, Laoag or Vigan were over flowing..... my doubt for the trip became evident. The twelve o'clock trip to La Union was full and so we were bumped off to a 2 a.m. trip. I was in a bad mood.... and i really just wanted to get out of there and go straight to the Batangas pier, and take the bus to the next best thing (Puerto Gallera).... but take note: no matter what, i was not going to stay stuck in the city. My best friend told me that they were going to push through.... of course as i am a very compromising person (you think??? hehehhe) I asked the better half of me if he wanted to continue with the trip and he just gave me a nod..... so, without hesitating the plan was full force.

6 a.m...November 27...Saturday...we arrived in the doorstep of Sebay (just a few steps away from San Juan Surf Resort, where we stayed before). Tired and hungry, we checked in to our rooms ready to find refuge in the deep stillness of a strange place. As i slowly dragged myself through the pathway...i was able to take a glimpse of a blue enigma at the end of the walk.... i felt a sudden surge of energy to my brain..... Adrenalin started pumping through my veins.... the feeling was definite.... i was sure of it...... i was HOOOOOOME!

Considering the fact that i wasn't able to sleep the whole night and still had a hang over from the sickness that i had...... I was up and about. Fresh air became my aphrodisiac... and i was ready to make love to the world. After fixing our stuff in our rooms.... i immediately went to off to meet an old friend. Still blurred by the long sleepless night that i endured.... i stood behind a wooden fence that separated me from the watery heaven that I was seeing. My mates were still in oblivion..... and they were just content in staying behind the cemented lines for the mean time. I, on the other hand, jumped over the barrage.... like a long lost puppy who found his master.....i was at the mercy of the greatness that stood before me. The air was cold and wet..... the sun barely even took a peek on the beach side.....I sat down on the moist sand, took off my slippers and just ran my toes through this grainy element.....it felt like everything around me was just starting a new life....it felt like i was a part of this blossoming world. I just sat there for a moment and just sipped in the inspiration that the universe was giving me.

After being intoxicated with inspiration.... I went back to the room and started to prepare for an unexpectedly flawless day. After breakfast...i change into my bikini, bathed myself in sun tan oil... and armed with a CD player and a sarong....i was ready to take on the rest of the adventure. On the beach, people and surfers alike were starting to greet the day.

Don't get me wrong the scene was perfect...once again we were blessed with a sunny day... and the wind was just the nice touch of a cool breeze.....but the waves were just not the same. Unlike last month, when we came.... the waves were in harmony... synchronized in every move.....they crashed with powerful force and unique unity. But this time it seemed like there was restlessness in the ocean.....one after the other waves came to devour each other. Manong Jun (our surfing instructor) informed us of the unfortunate news that we won't be able to surf in front of the resort...naturally because of the current state of the waves. It was filled with bad breaks and strong under sea currents. So we were told that in order to learn how to surf, we needed to take a detour and a jeep ride to the edge of the next town.

That day we learned that in surfer terms, a 15 minute ride means.....a ride all the way across a long highway, crossing the next town to the edge of civilization, near a cement factory. So in the spirit of a challenge we did what we had to do.... and rode a jeep all the way to that lost surfing haven. After a few minutes of waiting in front of a cement factory.... Manong Jun lead as through a dirt road..... passing cement rubble and sand hills. We stopped at a point where we saw a sign saying "no swimming, 3 people drowned here" (it was an encouraging sign).We started to unload the surf boards, and as we walked through a steep path....and through the bushes....

I never realized there was such a place. It was like a scene from a surfing documentary. On the right was an abandoned cement pier....on the left was a grey sanded beach that stretched towards the end of the island......and in the middle of everything was a wide blanket of blue....that displayed strong, regal and yet surfable waves. The supposedly abandoned beach (considering it was located in front of a cement factory) was accessorized by a few surfers who knew the place. It was like a place that only local surfers knew about...and that we had the honor of visiting (cooool ain't it).

After a few minutes of fooling around, Manong Jun gave us some overview of what we will be doing in the water (in lieu of our new colleagues). First up were the first timers....so that means me, mai, and niel were in line for the second batch. We watched as each wave devoured each attempt to surf...and eventually we watched as they successfully made it out of the water in one piece. Next up was our group....i thought "oh, well come what may...whatever happens happens" the day was already a great reward, so for me this could not get any better or any worst. In the water, the breaks were rougher than we thought. Just like the last time, we were crushed...ran over...and we were banged on by the powerful entities in the ocean. We were nerds compared to the strength and power of the waves. There was a point were i was wiped out really bad, and i tumbled below the waters surface...you'd think it was really deep but it wasn't....as i tumbled on the sand bar i got bruised all over. But we still kept on going….we were soldiers at war....ready to take on any attempt to bring us down. I was bruised every time i hit the sharp sands below the water....i even got cut by a dead corale...yet, i honestly never thought of stopping. I was determined to do what i went there to do, and that was to surf.

After a dozen and a half attempts, i was tired and out of breathe.... but i started to get the waves....instead of being hit on and crushed...i was now learning to tame it and go with its flow. Then it happened...just at the time i least expected it...i jumped on the board...and with the help of Manong Jun and a really cool wave (that was for perfect for me at least), i was able to stand on the board and actually , surf. I could not help but prance around.....i was shouting and growling in the weirdest sense (you should have seen me, wahahaha!). For me...even if people will say not yet....but for me...I was now a surfer. After the ride...all my pain....all my aches...went away...i was reborn. It was the most amazing feeling i ever felt. I was able to stand only a few times after that...but it just proves that it was not a fluke...i truly learned how to surf.

This does not mean that i am really that good....because I’m not (well not yet), but who knows right? It was certainly the coolest thing. It's not just because i was able to learn how to surf, but the idea of learning something new in my life....is such a thrill.... such an adventure.

As any adventure, my La union challenge had to end....but as we packed our bags and boarded the bus back to our reality......I am grateful for the trip. I learned a lot about myself....I made wonderful new friends....and i learned how wonderful life really is. The La Union adventure ended with hugs and kisses, the traditional last look at the beach, and a long ride back to our so-called temporary home. But all i know is my adventure does not end there.....this is just one of my side trips, and there will be more of these.............while i take on my greatest adventure..........

ang babaeng naglaslas sa dilim

2004-11-15T22:56:00.000-08:00

kung sa mundong ito
ako'y mamatay at ako'y mawawala.....
luluha ba ang inang kagubatan
o iiyak?
kung ako'y iyong itutulak sa mataas na bundok
ako'y mahuhulog na nakapikit
mahuhulog na nararamdaman ang hangin
na sumasabay saking katawan
parang tumutulong luha…
na bigla lang binasag ng lupa
na bigla lang naging kasapi ng buhangin.

sa lahat ng diwata sya pa ang binihag
pinatay at pinatulog sa kahabaan ng mundo ng mga kaluluwa.

ngayon ako’y nag iisa,
sa loob ng isang silid
madilim,
at ang aking kaibigan ay ang munting candelabra
na nakasuko sa itim na kalawakan
aking hawak ay isang panulat....
at nakahiga sa sahig isang papel....
nag-iisa, nakayuko,
nakatago ang mga mata sa mabahong buhok
gumagawa ng sariling kagandahan,
gumagawa ng sariling kwento
na ako ang bida...na ako ang kawawa.

tinatanong sa kisame kung bakit siya nasa taas
at bakit ako’y nasa baba
bakit kaya parati ako sa baba?
bakit parati kaya dumudugo ang mga paa sa pag apak sa kalangitan.

BOG!.........nahulog nanaman ako....
nawawala nanaman sa sariling utak
parang nag iba ang kapaligiran
naging kayumanggi....parang may tumubo na mga bulaklak sa lupa
pero andyan pa rin ako nakahiga sa gitna ng lahat
ang bango...parang tsokolateng bagong luto....
mga ibong itim ay lumilipad sa aking himpapawid
palapit ng palapit....palapit ng palapit....
sa gitna ng kanilang pagtatalik sa aking pagkatao.....bigla ako na pasigaw
bigla nalunod
biglang naglaho
andito pa rin ako
sa madilim na silid
kasama ang candelabra
kasama pa rin ang sarili
dumurogo ang pulso
dumudugo ang puso.

moment

2004-11-15T22:18:00.000-08:00

How would it feel to kiss you?
To feel your tender lips touch mine
to feel the heat of two souls
give up to temptation
and merge in its equal intensity.

Would it be like caramel?
Mixed with the delicate likeness of chocolate
Will it taste as sweet?
Will it taste as pure?

Will our lips bind like the sun to skin?
Turning it to gold, and stresses its own color
Deep into the roots of your body
Will we glow like the god that he is?

Will it feel like heaven…or hell?
Combined in one place….
Where everything seems to be equal
In chaos and in harmony.

Would it be like alcohol or morphine?
A flight without getting off the ground
A sudden paradise in the middle of war
An instant replica of Babylon.

What would it be like…
To have your lips lock with mine…
To feel nothing but you, deep inside
To feel…hear nothing
To see nothing
And taste nothing but the whole of you.

I would not know really
For I haven’t had you
But if the grace of life
Gives me that bitter sweet moment
I would not hesitate…..

2004-10-26T05:58:00.000-07:00

wala nako dalaganan nga iban kundi ang dagat kag ang bulan lang

The REGGAE

2004-10-26T05:50:00.000-07:00

Spells of the enchanting dance
The run around of the hypnotic sound
In the ghetto side of town
You’d hear the hips swaying with the wind

The beach sings the rhythm
Like it knows what its singing about
The moon fills and completes the poem
And makes everything feel so right

Sands run through the toes
Without hesitance the entities conquer
Fire spreads through out the island
And everything feels so surreal

Do you know the reason?
Of the being of a girl
Or the essence of being the boy
Smoke is past from lung to lung
And the breeze sniffs a part of it

Colors of the flowers
Celebrate the warmth
Aphrodisiac, is the black blanket
And after one more run around
The world becomes one unbelievable beach
And every race is making love on the sands.

The Surf

2004-10-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

Just came back from a spectacular weekend in a beach in La Union......tried to learn how to surf....I’m still in the paddling stage and on my way to balancing my body on top of a flat piece of wood-like material ideally called a "surf board". The waves were amazing...I never imagined a place like that exists nearby....it really put things in perspective. How beautiful and extraordinary is our homeland?...we have Boracay, a haven for lost souls looking for refuge beyond belief, where bodies can just float away with the rhythm of the relax sea...we have Palawan, a hidden heaven, that can only be seen to the eyes of the chosen ones (namely the rich and the people who can afford to spend as much as they want for a weekend of pure bliss)....we have puerto gallera, the little boracay, for adventure lovers who loves to go through a challenge first before attaining their reward (which is a long stretch of semi white beach, lined with clear blue waters, a peaceful community, and smiling faces)....and here comes La Union, which has been known to its natives as a surfing haven, but is starting to be known to the world as a land where surfing rich strong waves, can be a life.

I am a self confessed beach bum, turned surfing fan and hopefully evolve to a real surfer one day....... I was awe struck at the magnificence of the waves in La Union....I never dreamed of riding them for their grace seemed so harmless, but as they start to silence themselves, and started to climax to the height of their power, you would see what these water base art forms are all about. 5 am we arrive at the surfing resort in San Juan, the blackness of the night was still in dominance. We were cold and tired....directed by a stranger to our destination....we passed by a small walkway lined by bushes....we can't see clearly because the sun was just about to wake up....I thought “God what is this place”....but as we went nearer to the end of the walk way, we heard the soothing sound of the waves welcoming us. It was like a sudden rush of adrenaline....I went further the walk way...started to see flowers....and even it was almost pitch black....I could see the waves brushed with white edges shinning with the moonlight....it was perfect....it was more than what I expected.....perfection at its best. Mother Nature has out done herself, I thought....as always it seems that everything about her has always been a surprise.

No one was there to get our bags nor to get us to our rooms....it was all about the waves....6 am while waiting for the resort owner to welcome us....we started to see people come out from their nipa huts....we started to see men with bodies cut to a nice finish come out...they stood in front of the beach....just looking at the water....waiting for something. Glancing from one end to the other....after a few minutes they'd vanish into thin air then you would see them ridding their boards out to the open sea....where do they get the energy? And after a few minutes more waiting in the middle of this magnificent blue blanket.....I see this guy shoot like a bullet and paddle his heart out catching one of the crashing waves ridding it like a natural born sea cowboy.....I thought I was in love......hehehehe...for a second there.

The scenario....no sleep, tired and hungry.....and yet I was in the middle of this strange place trying to find out the purpose of my being there...or better yet just trying to sip in the reality of my being there. The sun started to show its color on the sands....and the waves singing their radical songs.....and I was there to witness these beings try to make a masterpiece out of the wild workings of nature....I saw these beings tame these unbelievable powerful waves, and become one with them.

I was lucky enough to experience the feeling of being a part of this world of water and life. As I approached the water dragging the board along with me...each step felt like struggle to keep up with the strength of the Poseidon.....such power....such energy. After the fight to ride one of his horses....I was able to grab a hold of one....even if I wasn't able to stand tall on the board...even if I came crashing after a few seconds...even if I got bruised after tumbling under water a few times....even if my legs got cramped....even if everything seemed to be a bad memory...the only thing that I can remember is that moment when I felt the wave...the wind through my hair, water running wild behind me....I was actually riding a wave.....I was riding a water based life form created by a miracle......can you believe that?

After wave riding, we just sat around the beach….by 4:30 pm, the waves were untamable…the only people seen riding it were the professional surfers…..We just watched them gracefully conquer thier obstacles…..It was just like watching ballerinas at play. We watched them well before sunset….just amazed with their ability to just skate through the water. The sunset was definitely something else as well….it was such a clear sky, and we just saw the sun slip through the clouds, like was being tucked away by the horizon. It was a great ending to a unique day.

The next day was hell for us....we felt every muscle complain....but it was well worth the ride.....we left the beach at exactly 10:30 am in the morning. Of course, we had one last look at the ocean and its entire splendor before we left. On the way home I could not stop thinking of how our stay was to short….that I didn’t even get to meet people yet….and that we haven’t really sunk in to the whole experience of surfing….but, oh well, so I say maybe it was meant to be short….so that I'll want more of that day. I’ll be coming back that's for sure...no doubt about it...I’ll be back.

2004-10-20T08:23:00.000-07:00

self portrait

a book to read

2004-10-18T22:14:00.000-07:00

book: Shanghai Baby
author: Wei Hui

A beautiful creation dedicated to poets, artists, free spirits, crazy people, drug users, the sane and insane. It's a very open minded book that talks about sex and love, and everything that goes with it. Every page, every chapter was a moment to desire......Wei Hui is a writer to admire, her style is special and uniquely her own. Her words were in your face sexuality, but romance still exudes from every sentence. The passion of the main character is so real, that i believe every artist, man or woman, can relate to.

The book is passion and obsession, desperation and contentment. It is all about the cross over from sleep to consciousness in life. The words were written so vividly, that every move, especially every scene that involved intertwined bodies, made the reader feel heat all around. You feel the ecstasy and the pain that the characters feel.

The book is heavy, and i strongly recommend it to both ladies and men. it is such a wonderful experience....and a plethora of emotions. Get ready to feel anything....but bored.

my flower

2004-10-09T10:53:00.000-07:00

Freedom such a big word...such a big responsibility to be....i say not....i speak not.....nothing more...nothing less...i say...i question....am i free???? or am i me???????

the reality of a scared little me...to do things....that involve pain, and..involve life..is it me?
am i sane?.......or do i have a secret little world....my own earth...my own heaven....my own hell....in the spontaneous span of the minute within my brain....do you see a different world?....a different era..................or dimension

is it me?...or is it you?... all i know is ...................
i am love....love.......LOVE...sex....lust..........magnificent ecstasy........................poetry in motion

ano ni man?

2004-10-06T11:27:00.000-07:00

kung kis-a gapamankut ko
kung ngaa galibot pa kalibutan ko
daw kabwisit panumdumon
nga ako buhi pa di

gina-ukay ko kaugalingon ko
panumdum kung ano ang sala
bato-bato ang gapalibot sa kalibutan
gakalumos na ko, pero la man ko gyapon kabalo

bangungot lang katapat ko
hambal ko sa lawas ko
para indi nako magbugtaw
pero indi man ko tulog

indi man ko gusto mapatay a
linong lang pangita ko
gusto ko lang magpahimuyong
kag indi paghilabtan

Pink Tutu

2004-10-06T08:38:00.000-07:00

"for ronnie ....my ballerina"
- fertility

i see a ballerina
dancing with the morning
following the sunrise
on the horizon

i see a ballerina
singing a song
with the use of his silk
pink ballet shoes
sending out the beauty

passion breathes through his neck
like a lover kissing his nape
and trying to seduce his
perfection

as he glides through
the wooden sweat stricken floor
my eyes stick like glue
on his adeptness
and i am stricken to a pause
at awe
i am seduced

blah blah blah

2004-09-20T02:11:00.000-07:00

do you really want to hear my story?
do you want to see me as the person that i am?
unmasked i am nothing but a person
a person who longs to be herself.

in a shallow grave i waste the moment
a moment that's supposed to be beneath the sunlight
i wonder in deep misery....
thinking what world would be better without me.

am i soooooo pathetic?
that in my own filth i linger
like a fly that doesn't have anything better to do
would you be a refuge at all?

would i be better off within a tunnel?
shouting and screaming to get out
yet i tied myself down to the ground
what pathetic life i live?

nothing like it....

2004-09-18T04:34:00.000-07:00

Blowing down a fire of endless suffering
You can’t remain a virgin through time
You’d see most of the worthless gains
And die with the score you have in life.

I’d much rather be the main woman of the whore house
And set fire the ebbing loins of men,
Than be the rookie and be told what to do
I am what freedom is, and what freedom can be.

Bite your tongue or I’ll bite it myself
And the cat might take a bite at it as well
Innocence is out of coverage in this century
And the death of femininity is such a burden....

he.....

2004-09-18T04:19:00.000-07:00

is it worth your time to burn the insence?
is it worth the sweat or the movement?
to believe in a sense of deep thought
in a passion so far apart.....

heat is within the fingers
a song is written through unknown pages
so much inspiration
so much flow....
do you hear the heart?
the blow of one fire
ebbing in a ground of silence
the night burns
a petal is being burnt.

imagine a night of brown skin
imagine the scent of oil
imagine the worthiness of the moment
imagine the soul within the moon

FULLMOON

2004-09-18T04:05:00.000-07:00

I blink at a sorrowful defeat
as the rays start to come in
its soft pearly sensation
blindens a spirit at ease.

a work of witchery
it calls upon tapped whispers
i love to find it there
within a black blanket
full of crystals.

I speak no less of a bright goddess
streaking its luminescent power
across the horizons of its peak
it is a glamorous start on its own.

It puts an end to the sweet sentence
and narrates a shadowed story on its own
she flashes the sun like a small pendant
and conquers the universe in its on mystique
she may not own her depth
but the full moon....

GOOD advertising

2004-09-18T01:27:00.000-07:00

here is a point to ponder from adidas

"impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men, who find it easier to live in a world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it"

quotes to ponder

2004-09-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

"being crazy is not about being broken or being swallowed by a dark secret....it's about being you and me....Amplified!"....girl interrupted

Welcome!

2004-09-13T05:11:00.000-07:00

whatever you want to say whatever you want to write...whatever at all...anything that involves who you are, your passion and your beautiful minds are welcome. Pictures that make you think and make you feel good, bad or make you feel any emotion at all is something that we want to see. This is a blog for artists..and philosophers....deviant minds...passionate souls....in short a blog for CRAZY people.....hehehe

I encourage comments for each written work or photo or painting....don't try to kiss anybodys' ass....but it would be nice to give constructive comments to help each other grow in our craft.

Introduce yourselves, and meet beings like you...open mindedness is a must and respect is of great importance...remember...anything can be real but not everything can be understood.....

just have fun with what we do here....nothing is wrong....nothing is right....remember beauty is always in the eye of the beholder.................................One thing that i want to point out though......we have no religion specifications here.....but i encourage love to rule.

FERTILITY